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Abigail van Buren

DEAR ABBY: I married a proud Scotsman one year ago who often wears kilts. When we go out, women think nothing of coming over and lifting his kilt, which exposes him to anyone who has a visual advantage. These women scream with glee and then become physically aggressive with their hands. Frankly, I am shocked and horrified anyone would do this.

The last time it happened, a woman ripped his kilt off, and the police became involved. Originally, the police were going to charge my husband with indecent exposure. After several hours, it became clear it was the woman who assaulted my husband. The police then kind of laughed it off. They didn’t plan to do anything further. We were furious.

Why is there a double standard women feel they can lift a man’s kilt to expose him and call it fun, yet the same women would scream sexual assault if a man lifted their skirt? Women need to understand lifting a man’s kilt is sexual assault and should be treated as the crime it is. Now, every time a woman does it, we immediately call the police and report the crime. The perpetrators then are shocked and angry they are being arrested for a sex crime for something they thought was innocent fun and games. Your column reaches many readers. With your help, we can help women understand doing this is unacceptable. — Double Standard

DEAR DOUBLE: It is no more acceptable to lift a man’s kilt “in the name of fun” than it would be to pull his trousers down. I hope any person reading this, who didn’t have the common sense to know better, will take note and respect the personal space of Scotsmen and ALL individuals. (It beats finding one’s name on a sex offender registry.)

DEAR ABBY: My parents did well financially. Mom passed away 20 years ago. My brother always has been unstable. He’s a violent, abusive drug addict and a con artist. Dad was extremely ill during his last few years. My brother abused him, stole his meds, refused to support him and ordered Dad to get out of his life. So he did. Dad wrote my brother out of his will and left everything to me. My brother carries a weapon and, for my family’s sake, I have cut contact. Distant family think I haven’t been fair by separating myself from him and not splitting the inheritance. Am I wrong? — Heiress In Missouri

DEAR HEIRESS: You are not “wrong”; you are intelligent and prudent. Your sibling repeatedly has demonstrated he is nothing but trouble and he isn’t going to change. You stated the family members who are urging you be closer to an armed felon are “distant.” If you are as smart as I think you are, you will ignore their bad advice and cease contact with them, too.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.