There’s something that attracts us to things that share our name. I’ve photographed myself at the Howard stop on Chicago’s “El” train. I also keep a milk crate from the Ludwig Dairy tucked away in the garage.
Last week, I was browsing through some online photos my cousin had taken while backpacking through Europe. Among Lori Ludwig’s shots was a picture of her standing in front of the Ludwig Deli in Berlin.
That same instinct drove me to snap shot (pictured here) at the cemetery. I often take my two toddlers for walks in the cemetery. It’s quiet. It’s beautiful. And, there’s very little traffic.
While recently walking among the headstones, I stumbled upon one with the name “Howard” etched in bold letters. My 2 1/2-year-old son was walking nearby this slab of marble. I asked him to stand next to the monument, and I snapped a picture.
My son shares my first name - Howard. I arrived home and downloaded the photo into my computer. Looking at the shot, it felt a little creepy. It’s one thing to take a photo next to a Howard Ave. street sign or beside a set of Ludwig drums. But, a Howard headstone could easily be interpreted as morbid.
Of course, it doesn’t help that the photo was taken on a particularly sunny day. Rather than my boy staring up into the camera with a big grin, he’s pictured staring up into the sun with his eyes closed.
Still, it was a beautiful day, and he is a beautiful boy (if I do say so myself!).
So what do you think? Is this shot creepy or cute?
Our family had to face an emergency situation in our neighborhood recently.
But rather than focus on the negative, we are counting our blessings and taking the whole process one day at a time.
One of the rushed jobs was having to do a quick inventory of all of our camping equipment,
Thank goodness I had a list. As I went through things, I began to “try” to turn my focus on happier times.
Camping with the family.
Our son was 2 years old and our daughter 4 when we started camping as a family.
We love tent camping with day hikes and those adventures created some of the happiest memories of our lives. Even the ones where there were a lot of mishaps make us laugh now.
An important part of enjoying any family vacation is being prepared and planning.
Your list may be different, but here are some suggestions as to what equipment to squeeze into the truck or car:
— Weather radio
— Flashlights and extra batteries (The wind-up ones eventually do wear out.)
— Compass
— Binoculars
— Sunscreen
— Insect repellent
— Camera
— Backpack for each person (go light on the little ones’ load though)
— Whistle for each person
— Bandanna for each person (doubles as a bandage or sling)
— Wet wipes (yep, we are finding that our children never outgrow these)
— First-aid kit (with instructions) and small, fold-up emergency blanket
— Duct tape (the list of uses is endless)
My most recent column in the Daily Journal focuses on boys and hitting. I spoke with Dr. Michael Thompson about the subject last week. He’s a psychologist and a leading expert on boy’s development. He’s also the author of “It’s a Boy! Understanding Your Son’s Development from Birth to Age 18.”
Thompson shared his insight about why boys lash out with punches and how to appropriately address the situation. However, he also spoke about the differences between boys and girls in this respect, as well as other topics of interest. Unfortunately, I ran out of room in the column leaving many of these nuggets about gender differences trapped within my notebook. But thanks to the Adventures in Parenting blog, these interesting tidbits can now be shared.
* First, I asked Thompson where my 2 1/2-year-old son learned this behavior. It’s not like I go around punching things. He said that throwing a fist when things go wrong is purely instinctual. It’s not something he learned watching his parents, neighborhood kids or television.
* My initial reaction to Bubba’s first punch was to punch him back. This may not have been the most appropriate response, but it is hardly uncommon. According to Thompson, 80 percent of American children are still punished physically - usually spanking.
* Watching little boys and girls at the park, its obvious that boys are clearly the more physical group. Boys wrestle, throw things and use sticks as weapons while girls seem content with carrying dolls, coloring books and playing dress-up. (Of course, not all girls or boys fall into these categories.)
Thompson confirmed these gender differences. He even went a step further saying the impulsive and physical nature of boys between the ages of 2- and 3-years-old is so vastly different from girls of the same age that preschool teachers often feel they are teaching two different populations within the same classroom.
* Catching my son in the act of hitting is one thing. But what happens when I leave the room and return to find my son looking guilty and his 18-month-old brother on the floor and crying? I don’t want to accuse Bubba of hitting Peter without evidence, but I don’t want him to think he can get away with this sort of behavior while my back is turned.
Thompson suggested a firm interrogation. See how guilty your suspect looks. Kids at this age usually aren’t adept liars.
* I hung up the phone with Thompson feeling invigorated. His insight put the whole punching incident into perspective. I think Thompson summed it up best when he simply said, “boys are harder to civilize.”
I wrote a column earlier this month for the Daily Journal about my recent visit to Fair Oaks Farms. This is one of the largest dairy farms in the nation. For $10, visitors can tour the sprawling facility along Interstate 65.
Shortly after the story appeared, I received this email:
Hello, I just read your article on Fair Oaks Farms! I took my then 4 year old last year, and she loved it. You didn’t mention all the little things for the kids to do, like the train, tractor cars, bouncy bubble thing, and the little museum they have w/a 4-d show. I think with all of that included it was totally worth the $10 admission price!! - Adrienne MacQueen, Manteno.
I believe I painted a pretty rosy picture of my day at Fair Oaks. But, Adrienne has a valid point. My article also included a lengthy description of the flat tire I received on the way home from the diary day trip.
I don’t regret including my tale of roadside repair in the article, but it did come at the expense of further details about Fair Oaks. That’s the wonderful thing about the Adventures in Parenting blog, I can provide all the details I like here without the constraints of a word count.
First, Fair Oaks seems to be a favorite place for field trips. I visited on a Friday, and the parking lot was filled with school buses. The cafeteria off exit 220 felt tiny as a crowd of middle school children converged on the grilled cheese station, ice cream stand and gift shop.
We quickly ate our lunch and made our way to the tour area ahead of the school group. We paid for two adult admissions ($20). My two boys are both younger than 3, thus their tours were free. Kids ages 3 - 12 are charged $7 for the tour, along with seniors age 62 and over.
What did you do for Mother’s Day?
After church, our little family of four went outside for a picnic and a four-mile run and walk (okay, most of it was a walk) at the Kankakee River State Park.
The whole time we talked about how we were imagining we were on vacation in Minnesota or Montana or Utah. We never could agree where we were, but we had to laugh when we saw so many Illinois license plates in the parking lot.
Can’t fool you guys. Now that’s a mini vacation.
The exercise was such a good tension release that we asked ourselves why we didn’t do it more often.
It is a question that comes up each time we get out of the exercise habit.
A horrible wake-up call recently brought our attention back to the importance of us mommies taking care of ourselves.
A friend who had a 9-year-old son, died of a heart attack at the age of 48. It shocked her family and us.
Call me a bad parent, but I was never worried about the Swine Flu. I didn’t bother to read much about H1N1 (perhaps that’s why I was so brave), but Swine Flu didn’t seem that different from the common flu that surfaces every year in the spring and fall. We are now hearing that the threat is mostly over.
One reason for my apathy is that I’m just overwhelmed by all of these Chicken Little disasters that seem to surface every six months. Before the Swine Flu, everyone was worried about tainted peanuts. Or how about the lead paint scare? Remember when everyone was afraid to eat a tomato? And what the hell was SARS?
At some point, all of these recalls and health scares simply become too much for a busy parent to follow. It’s overwhelming for any adult to think that they have to comb though page after page of warnings and notices before buying a 99 cent toy. Or that every trip to the grocery store should begin with a visit to the FDA’s Web site.
There’s a school of thought that I once thought of as irresponsible. It’s perpetuated by old men and young men who act like old men. Their theory sounds something like this, “When we grew up, our parents weren’t worried about recalls or laying us down on our backs as babies. Hell, we survived. Parents are nuts nowadays. Grumpff. Grumpff. Grumpff.”
It’s impossible to argue with this logic, because the person offering up the nugget of wisdom is usually ALIVE. Therefore, the theory in this case is proven by virtue of the teller simply surviving a childhood without outlet covers, car seats or bicycle helmets.
However, there’s a serious flaw in this theory. Think how many children could have been saved from car accidents had car seats been introduced and mandated years earlier. Or what if there was a recall on asbestos in the 1940s? Something like that could have saved thousands of lives and millions of dollars.
And yet I’m still not worried about Swine Flu. Though if the scare encourages my son to wash his hands after going potty, it might not be all bad.
“But Mom, the weather is so nice outside.” My reply: That’s fine, there is plenty of work to do out there, too, but only after your homework is done.
“But Mom, the end of the school year is so close.” My reply: Sure, but it isn’t over yet and there is still plenty of time to mess up your grades.
Do those sound like typical excuses in your household?
There are plenty more, but you get the idea.
I think my husband and I have heard them all from the fifth- and seventh-graders living in our home. Yes, they are our kids and we truly love them, but beyond our constant nagging, it is so challenging to get them to concentrate on schoolwork each night. They are very well aware that they must maintain their grades for a few more weeks.
Are you having a hard time getting your kids to stay focused on those last couple of important tests, book reports and other research projects?
A survey released this month says Midwesterners are least likely to move in their aging mothers. The online survey polled 300 people and found that folks living in the Northeast and Southeast were most agreeable to moving in mom.
The survey was paid for by Senior Helpers, a provider of in-home care for the elderly. The findings were sent out in a press release that highlighted another one of the study’s revelations: 70 percent of adult children would choose mom over dad to move in.
I’m guessing Senior Helpers wants newspaper writers, bloggers and other media to pick up on this story as a cute, timely feature for Mother’s Day. Any mention of the in-home care provider would be icing on the cake. However, these findings are alarming, not endearing.
First of all, who gets to choose whether mom or dad move in with them? It’s not like picking teams for a playground basketball game. You can’t just break up your parents.
Second, I’m surprised Midwesterners have the greatest aversion to moving mom in. Perhaps it’s because our long winters leave virtually everyone on the cusp of insanity. Throw an old lady into the mix, and we are all likely to become the next Norman Bates.
All jokes aside, the survey also points out that 36 million seniors live in the U.S. and that number is expected to double in a few years. That means a lot of seniors from the Midwest are going to be living in nursing homes or assisted living facilities very soon.
I sometimes joke with my mom that if she ever needs full-time medical care, “I’ll send you to the best nursing home the State of Illinois can afford.” She laughs, though I imagine there’s a fair amount of concern among baby boomers who have seen their savings shrink during a crummy economy. Now they are learning that their children aren’t interested in caring for them when they may need it most.
I think I’ll remind my two sons sometime today that I may be changing their diapers now, but someday the shoe is going to be on the other foot.
